Hiking Humor and Miles the Moose

The moose has a name! Kayla Popeye McCarthy will be hiking the PCT with the newly named “Miles the Moose.” Thanks to Scuffed Boots for suggesting the name and winning a $25.00 gift card to BackCountry.com

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As avid hikers and backpackers we have had our fair share of encounters with Park Rangers or the Game Commission. So we have some idea of their job and the possible encounters they have with those who are new to hiking and the outdoors. While winter is setting in for most of us and cabin fever is hitting, here is some hiking humor to lighten your day.

True Complaints Received by Forest Rangers

These are actual complaints made to park rangers. You just couldn’t make them up; yet, on the other hand the things that people moan about are unbelievable.

  1. A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles.  Is there a way I can get reimbursed?
  2. Escalators would help on steep uphill sections.
  3. Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands.
  4. Found a smouldering cigarette left by a horse.
  5. Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill.
  6. Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.
  7. Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them.
  8. The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals.
  9. Need more signs to keep area pristine.
  10. A McDonald’s would be nice at the trailhead.
  11. Too many rocks in the mountains.
  12. The places where trails do not exist are not well marked.

Yellowstone National Park
Does Old Faithful erupt at night?”
“Do you put the animals away at night?”
“How do you keep it filled with water?”
“In the winter will it freeze?”
“How do you turn it on?”
“Is that where the bears take a bath?”
“Has anyone every scuba dived into it to see how it works?”
“If you sat on it how high would it send you up into the air?”
“When does the guy who turns it on get to sleep?”

Yosemite National Park
“Where are the cages for the animals?”
“What time of year do you turn on Yosemite Falls?”
“What happened to the other half of Half Dome?
“Is there an elevator to the top of the dome”
“Can you see San Francisco from the top of the dome?”
“Can I get a picture taken with the carving of President Clinton?
“Are chipmunks just squirrels with stripes?”
” Where was the last Bigfoot seen?”
“If I find gold do I get to keep it?”
“Why did they build this park so far away from town?”
“How did they get covered wagon through here?”
“Why do marshmallows taste better when they are cooked over a campfire?”
“What happens to the people who fall of off the dome?”

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